How healthy connections can help people with C-PTSD

Healing relationships can help you heal

What is C-PTSD C-PTSD or Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can happen in people who have experienced repeated traumatic events, this could be due to violence, neglect, or abuse. Symptoms of C-PTSD consist of the main categories seen in PTSD: 1. Reexperiencing symptoms through flashbacks or nightmares 2. Sense of threat symptoms - being hypervigilant, jumpy, and easily startled 3. Avoidance symptoms - avoiding people, places, and situations that remind them of their trauma or self-medicating with drugs or alcohol. People with Complex PTSD might also struggle with additional categories of symptoms: 1. Problems with self-esteem - feeling worthless or guilty about their trauma. 2. Emotional dysfunction - experiencing intense emotions, feeling like they are in a dream or having difficulties feeling joy. 3. Relationship problems - difficulties trusting others, complicated feelings towards abusers, obsessing about abusers, or focusing on revenge. Attachment Trauma in C-PTSD Humans are social creatures. Since prehistoric times, humans relied on each other for survival. As a result, humans feel a deep need for connection with others. It has even been shown that social isolation can cause physical illness and depression.

Attachment is the psychological connection between people that allows them to mean something to each other. Complex trauma often begins in infancy and early childhood, right when the attachment phase of development happens. C-PTSD is typically seen to be a result of cumulative relationship trauma, often by primary caregivers.

During our early years, our survival depended on our caregivers and in people who experienced C-PTSD in childhood, these early relationships might have been frightening, unpredictable, threatening, or unavailable, thereby disrupting the foundation needed to develop meaningful, healthy relationships as an adult (secure attachments). A child with parents who did not provide a safe enough attachment, might not have a proper example of healthy connections, and they might not have had anyone there for reflection, validation, and guidance. No comfort, support, or even anyone to cry to in difficult times, or to be proud of them when they did something well. Most traumatologists see attachment disorders as one of the key symptoms of C-PTSD. Attachment traumas might lead to beliefs of being damaged, not lovable, and that it is not safe to trust others. After all, the person they trusted the most was the one to hurt them. These people never learned the communication skills for closeness and belonging, and often struggle with social anxiety, or social phobia in severe cases. People struggling with C-PTSD might feel isolated, be plagued by anxiety, and experience a huge amount of shame. They might withdraw from relationships to avoid further rejection and hurt, or on the other extreme, feel overly dependent on others and fearful of rejection. Treatment for C-PTSD Treatment for C-PTSD includes trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Psychotherapy for people suffering from C-PTSD might be longer than usual to give these people time to build trusting relationships with their therapist. For many clients, the therapeutic relationship might be their first safe and nurturing relationship; this is why creating a degree of safety is very important when beginning the long journey towards developing good enough trust. The goals in therapy when it comes to C-PTSD usually focus on stabilizing the person so that they can address their feelings, distrust, and negative worldviews and beliefs, to learn to better cope with flashbacks, depression, anxiety, and/or other issues present, and to improve their connections with others. The latter can take time, as they will need to learn to develop or recapture feelings of trust in others and the world. Participating in healthy relationships with family and friends is an important and positive step. Ongoing support is essential even when treatment ends.

The Role of Secure Relationships

With the help of a qualified and compassionate therapist, people with C-PTSD can learn to connect successfully with others and reach “earned secure attachment” (a secure attachment style that can be earned through reflection, interaction, and relationships as an adult). Earned security can be achieved through friendships, therapy, and romantic connections, by learning to give and accept care, support, and love. Finding security can significantly alter Complex PTSD attachment styles.

For those who did not have supporting relationships before the trauma, this can be particularly challenging. Relationship building then becomes a crucial part of trauma recovery.

Therapy can serve as an intimacy-modeling relationship, which helps clients realize that they are acceptable and worthy; that there's no need to feel ashamed about their flashbacks, and no need to isolate or push others away. Many attachment therapists believe that effective treatment can help C-PTSD clients earn at least one healthy and intimate relationship outside of therapy.

Healing relationships consist of trust, honesty, and compassion, and can have a profound positive effect on one's health. There is nothing like having another person who you can fully trust and be vulnerable with, and be met with kindness and grace that you might have never experienced before. These relationships can help one find healthy ways to soothe the effects of posttraumatic stress. The importance of healthy connections is even backed by science. There is extensive research on the positive impact of making emotional connections: • Social Psychologist Dr. James Pennebaker summarises a study carried out with Holocaust survivors, in which those who wrote to another person about their traumatic experience in a safe and confidential environment had significant health improvements (including better immune function, less pain, improved mood) compared to those who wrote about something superficial like the weather, as part of this study. • Dr. Joseph Bobrow describes long-term improvement and restoration in veterans after going to a therapeutic retreat, where they were guided to open up to their fears, anger, anguish, and grief in the presence of other veterans who understand, accept and love them.

• An emotionally safe place where a person can trust others while sharing difficult emotions has even shown physical healing effects:

• Rheumatoid arthritis patients experienced less pain after a single episode of sharing. • Asthma patients had improved lung function (measured with a spirometer), a month after sharing.

If you experienced trauma that makes it hard to trust others and form connections, know that there is hope. You also deserve healing relationships. You also deserve love. You don’t have to go through your pain alone. Support and healthy connections are possible!

Sources https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/complex/ https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-to-know-complex-ptsd-symptoms https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/complex-ptsd https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322886#recovery-and-outlook

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